WHAT YOU WANT IS NOT WHAT YOU NEED

Life can be going great as a husband, a leader, a parent… I can be serving others and making a difference, maybe even making some progress on my personal goals, and having fulfilling moments with God and then suddenly - I hit a dark patch of the road.

Sound familiar?

Where I live in Oregon, we’re not too far from beautiful and dense forests, and when you’re driving through the trees, the sun can be shining, the blue sky clear above you, and then suddenly, the trees can close in and you hit a dark patch. The atmosphere is different, cooler, more closed in, quieter.

In our busy world, it sounds kind of nice, but it can also be a little ominous and that’s my point here. Things are going great and suddenly - you hit a dark patch.

To be honest with you, I hit one of those recently, like real recently and here’s something I am just now noticing as I come back out into the light.

I started to want what I didn’t need AND started to lose my appetite for what would have really given me nourishment and life.

I don’t think I’m alone in this experience.

• I am so tired, but I stay up late watching youtube.

• I am frustrated that I’ve missed some workouts, but I grab a bag of chips.

• I am spiritually drained, but I don’t want to pray.

• I am so lost with my business, but I read email instead of planning.

One side effect for me was that I found it becoming harder to want to connect with my wife and I felt my heart being pulled towards other things.

It’s a scary place to be for sure and here’s the thing - you don’t have to be in a years long depression to slip into this. This last go around it crept in over a few really busy weeks; and other times I hit a dark patch like this in a day, for a few hours.

So what’s the answer?

This time round, here’s what happened. My wife sought me out and made sure we had some intentional time as a family and together as a couple.

In one good evening, the gravitational pull of my heart began to be realigned. I didn’t really want it, but when I took the nourishment my soul really needed, I felt it’s warmth like a hot soup on a cold day and I knew I had been a fool and my heart and desires were coming back from a place of danger to a place of safety.

Is it always that quick and simple? Maybe, maybe not.

But here’s the lesson - Go do what you don’t want to do!

• Put on the jogging shoes.

• Open up a note and start planning for 5 minutes.

• Lift up your eyes and pray to heaven.

• Take your spouses hand.

And you will see your desires realigning to true north.

And the sun will shine again.

See you next Thursday!

Geno Schmelzer,

As always I am inviting you to check out my brand new podcast “Can I Ask You A Question?

Learning what to do to avoid dark patches and what to do when you are in one is part of our ongoing conversation with guests as we learn from their life experience and wisdom - how to live a life that is rich and resilient, while also being generous and fruitful.